Lone Alone (Manjiri)

 "what's that burning on the stove?" 

Savani was startled out of her reverie. She was deep in thoughts planning her article. She smelled the burning too. She ran to the kitchen. Adi had already put off the stove and stood glaring at her. 

He looked exasperated "Come on Savani, pay attention to what you are doing! You forgot the keys in Activa the other day. You wont be able to survive even for a week without me." He walked off. 

Savani felt the tears prickling in her eyes. She cursed herself. So many times she had decided that she will be practical. She had made checklists, and todos and reminders. But things kept happening. An idea or a thought entered her mind and she was lost. 

She brushed away her tears and started damage control and further cooking. 

Her phone pinged. It was slew of messages on her college Whatsapp group. Sunita, Durga and Mugdha praising Deepa's poem. Savani had shared her blog post too, but that did not receive even a single comment. It used to baffle her but now she realized that the likes and emojis and all were traded in "Quid pro Quo" manner. She had criticized a post once which was considered cardinal sin. She understood all this but even now she could not bring herself to give a like or a heart emoji when she knew the post did not deserve it. She was quickly becoming public enemy number 1. You know that girl who is not part of the core Whatsapp group - that is there for every alumni group - where all the real gossip is discussed. 

Savani was baffled sometimes, why were people like this. Why did everyone play games all the time? Savani even thought that there was a "How to interact with each other" handbook that had rigid rules. Like even if you know it is not possible for you to attend the function, you just smiled and said "yes yes of course I would be there"  And she was the only one who had not read it. She felt utterly dejected. She did not have any friends. 

She finished her cooking and walked to her table. She glanced at the books there. There was "Chandramadhaviche Pradesh" by poet Grace. Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "100 years of solitude" Savani felt a smile starting in her heart and spreading through her whole body. This was her world, her secret world. Most folks neither knew about this world and nor cared about it. She was a privileged and a favorite member here. Just yesterday she came across Emily Dickinson's complete poems book in Openlibrary. She opened a random page and started reading. 

Emily was spinning her magic 

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.